Do not argue

Wasting time can be done in many ways from running every morning to eating cake every day. It seems you either need to focus on being healthy or you do not care at all about that.

Photo by Hannah Pemberton on Unsplash

But the worst waste of time is to argue…

When you argue you try to convince the other person you are right, and that the person should change their mind about a topic. That person argues for the exact same reason to convince you that you are wrong.

How often have you changed your mind during an argument?

My guess: Never.

Photo by Akson on Unsplash

When we argue we insist of being right and that the other person is wrong. If we do not believe that we would not argue.

If we listen to the other person and this person listen to you it is a dialogue or a discussion. When you listen to someone, and you really hear them you might even think what they say is smart and depending on the subject you might even change your mind about the subject.

I don’t think you will change your mind on fundamental issues like being for or against Trump, nuclear bombs, or war — you can add subjects you feel strongly about to this minimalistic list.

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

But I do believe if we start listen to each other we can change the minds on a number of issues and subjects that we really should care more about.

A few subjects could be climate changes, LGBT rights, gun control and cars.

We all know there is an issue regarding those subjects, but we are very divided when it comes to any kind of solutions.

Because we can see the problem, I think most people are open for ideas on how to solve those. We listen and from what we hear we decide to believe on one of the solutions being presented to us.

If you are so unlucky to have listened and decided to believe in the wrong guy, you need to change your mind of cause and it is never easy to admit you made a mistake.
If you were lucky to listen and decided to believe in the guy that said the truth, you are in a much better place, but you still have an important task. You need to convince the other guys that you are right.

As soon as you start an argument you have basically already lost it. Sometimes you feel like you won, but deep down you know that the other person did not agree with you and just let you have the last word.

Having the last word is not winning the argument or change anyone's mind about whatever you argued about. It is just a way of ending it.
Maybe you have ended an argument the same way?

Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

So how can we convince those that are wrong, that we are the ones that are right, and they should change their mind.

We do not do it by arguing, shouting, or fighting. That is for sure.

We do it by proving we are right and give it time. We do it by adding informations that are true and let those that are wrong to come around at some point. And they will come around if we are right.

So let us stop all the arguing on news programs or in newspapers. Politicians should stop arguing and start focus on what is best for the people and less what is good for them or their re-election. People on social media should think more before they write — or just think more and comment less.

It is not so difficult.

Now we just need to figure who is right and who is wrong.



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Jens Peter Olesen

Jens Peter Olesen

Graphic design, branding and always travelling. I write about what I see and learn in design, on travel and in life. +